Everything is okay

Tonight, Dustin was having a hard time dealing with everything that I bring up.  He doesn't like seeing me getting down on myself, or crying.  He also doesn't appreciate when I don't allow him to say what he says, because I say, "No" or "What are you talking about?"  A better thing to do would be learn to validate my emotions and validate his emotions, validate what he and I say, and validate our actions.  

Tonight, Dustin ate cooked food- rice, split peas, and salty foods, and took a shot of alcohol because he couldn't handle the hopeless feelings.  He said, "I'm human too, hun.  I can't handle all the hopeless feelings."  He also told me that I needed to try harder.  He said that I need to get angry at "it".  

He said that I can be confident, and not just pretend to be confident, but actually be confident.  He said there are so many things right now enabling me to do that.  Also, he said that everything truly is okay- I don't need to feel guilty, sad, or get down on myself about things so much.  

So, basically, I learned that if I feel bad, I should first of all remember that everything truly is okay.  Second of all, if I feel bad, then I should try not to show Dustin all of the time.  I should use discretion and not allow my feelings to become bad if I can.  If I feel bad feelings, I should allow myself to feel them, but to not dwell on them.

I think I need to do drugs.  I need to realize more that life is short and I am wasting it.  Although, everything is okay.

everything's going to be okay.  even if Dustin leaves me, everything is still going to be okay.