Follow my dreams, accept full responsibility for the things I would like to do.

the best thing to do is to keep following my dreams... today I made test cob bricks for raised beds  I also talked with neighbors at poncho conde, a community where my parents property is.  we will get paid for the work that we did.  we covered the ground for rock to be put down and landscaped

I realized that I could see us doing a landscaping business together, vegan permaculture.
I also realized that if I want to AVOID  being my mom who doesn't have passion in things, will I follow my dreams and ideas about what I would like to do?   

Be raw vegan

Build a cob house
Practice non-orgasmic sex, be in love with Dustin
Practice compassion to all living beings, including insects
Cut out Facebook- Live in the here and now, this is the only world I know and can work with
Practice Minimalism

Be confident in myself and every thing I envision, imagine, try differently, 

Talk like an adult, and take care of things around the house like an adult
OR just be aware of who/how I am so that awareness will change to how I need to be more naturally

My dad called today and my mom tried to talk with me.  I ended up letting her.  Next time, if my dad is stuck with not letting my mom talk to me , I will decide to hang up on my dad so I will not talk with her.

Something to consider is that I am very narcissistic and I need to be aware that as much as I am learning about my sexuality, how to be aware of it, and therefore not be under the control of it, I also need to expand and learn, and grow, how to be more responsible for sharing duties in the home, how to be in control or awareness of my own emotions, how to talk with people more, more clearly, and confidently, to be aware of the tendency in myself to be afraid of something that I do not know, and then avoid it because I am embarrassed and to work against that by learning new things and seeking out knowledge, trying new things, thinking of new ideas that we can try- things that I would like to do, but also things that I think- that would be cool, but I am also intimidated by- such as creating an image for our youtube videos or getting a credit card so that I can save up for LASIK- learning about passive solar and water systems, learning about how to make a permaculture business.  learning how to put my own happiness first and to stop projecting my fears onto Dustin.  .. or anyone....  I realize that the best thing that I need to do is to take my own advice....  I need to take salvia as soon as possible.