Small voice

So today, I tried to remember everything that Dustin told me.  That everything is okay.  It was hard, because my neck tensed up, and it was still hard to admit to myself that still everything was okay.

I could tell that Dustin didn't like that I was so tense.  And I tried not to be.  But there was only so much I could do.

This morning went relatively well... when I woke up, I held Dustin on his soft shoulder and I never tried to push into him... it was just a soft embrace.  Then I had to go pee and I was awake.  I decided once and for all to follow the right voices in my head.. follow the soft voice that I rarely hear.  I heard it this morning.  I followed all the things that I wanted to do.. which was water ... all the plants, then do the litter boxes, then water the plants, then I saw the pea thing and I decided to make that since we were going to plant the peas.  I had imagination, and I felt more free and open


So, I guess I learned that I need to follow my small voice.. and do the things that it tells me to do.  Once I am following my intention more, I relax more, because I feel I am listening to myself, which I am.  Once I listen to myself, I am more willing to listen to others, such as Dustin, and other people.  I am also more open to my surroundings when I listen to and follow my small voice.

I also learned this morning that once I am following my small voice, I need to allow myself to be okay and enjoy.